motion

What are you so afraid of?

/ Ineke Knot

Last week was the anniversary of my dads death. He passed away at the age of 55, when I was 14 years old. A few years ago I started processing my delayed grief, which is commonly caused by the inability to process the loss of a parent at a young age. During my grieving process I worked towards the day that I would be alive without my dad longer than I’ve lived with him. That day was 10 February 2018, and as an end point of the grieving process I spent a weekend in Ireland to commemorate that day.

I’ve travelled quite a bit, and I’m hardly really nervous or anxious. How incredibly different was it while I was preparing for this trip. I was procrastinating on, nay, more resisting, packing my bag. I was utterly and completely afraid of what The Day would be like. So I was trying to find ways in which I could avoid The Day. I wasn’t looking for ways to simply avoid the trip. I hoped that by postponing packing my bag, I could actually prevent The Day from coming.

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Stagnant water

/ Ineke Knot

Do you like waterfalls? If so, how do you like them? Do you like to look at them? Or do you like to jump off them? When we think of waterfalls, we think of powerful displays of nature. Litres of water tumbling down meters of substrate. But we risk forgetting that the waterfall is part of a river. And only a short part in that. Some parts of the exact same river might be slow-streaming, maybe even stagnant.

Have you ever noticed that these stagnant parts are even part of the waterfall itself? Rock formations give shelter to the fast pacing water. Small or big pools turn around in the same circles, over and over again. However, the slightest change in position of the water could completely change its state. It would result in the water being violently pulled back into the river, flowing along with its course.

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